I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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