it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
