He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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