There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
