Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
