I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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