Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
