just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
