just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
