how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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