i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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