maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just invented taco cereal.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
