Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
