Soap is not a condiment
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
