i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
