I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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