matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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