At least make sure they are 18
Why
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
