I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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