If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
