just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
