Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
