i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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