do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
