My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
