i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
