drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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