You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
