And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am naked and annoyed.
Enjoy the penises
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
