do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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