TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
