this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
