hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
