I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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