hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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