I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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