i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
