Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
