it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
