Sober January is a disaster.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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