Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
