I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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