At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
