I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
