i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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