Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
im on a boat
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