He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
