I can tuck mytits in my pants
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
