so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
