the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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