wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
