Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
